Hey Synners thank you for checking out my blog. Few days ago I wrote the first part of my single male blog outlining the policy at Syn regarding single males. This time I wanted to go into guidelines for single males. I’ve been in the lifestyle for over 20 years most of that running a club. Vast majority of that time I’ve also been a solo male. Even when I was in a relationship it was such I still dated solo.
So being a single male at lifestyle events can suck. There really isn’t any way around it. Today’s world is way more open to it than in past but still can be rough. Especially at first when your already nervous and feel like your sticking out. Couples at least can talk to each other and having an attractive woman makes meeting new people way easier. If you’re a good guy you sit in a corner nervous that you’re going to do the wrong thing and be labeled “that guy.” Hopefully some of what I say will help you feel more comfortable going to someplace like Syn and not stress when it’s not going your way right off the bat.
When I was new I had dabbled in the lifestyle a bit DJ’ing a few events andattended private get together, but felt it wasn’t really for me. Then I got an offer to be the fill in DJ at a club in OKC. I was blown away when I walked in. I had been in the club business for many years and this was the first LS club I saw that was well run with attractive people. All these attractive barely dressed women walking around open for sexual adventures was mind blowing and I didn’t handle it well. I was in my early 20’s and basically a walking hard on even outside this environment. When you walk into something like this the first time it can short circuit your brain. Especially if your not getting a lot of attention in your regular life. Now a days I can be surrounded by naked women groping me and my mind is on getting cheesy eggs at Waffle House when we close.
My best advice to new guys is to sit back and relax. Don’t stress about meeting anyone just sit back, observe and enjoy the scenery. Plan on NOT getting laid your just there to scout out the scene and learn the Synner mating rituals.
If you’re someone that thinks you should be guaranteed to be laid for your cover charge Syn is not the place for you. Syn is an establishment for like mined people to meet. It’s not a brothel and I’m not a pimp. There are women there that absolutely don’t want to know anything about you they just want to see how well your cock fits in their mouth. However if you are a jerk they can sense it right away and will play with everyone in the club but you.
So what is protocol? Understand that the majority of the women that come to Syn are attached. We do get single women some nights more than others. However most women come as a couple with the guy acting as the gate keeper for his woman. So if there is a hubby hitting you up and talking to you chances are good he’s scoping you out for his wife. Even if nothing happens that night being labeled a “good dude” can only help things.
So if you do get invited to play with a couple majority of the time the guy will be straight. There are obviously exceptions but usually that’s discussed in some way beforehand. If you are bi and like to go down that road with a couple just be up front and honest. Even if the hubby isn’t it won’t preclude you from having fun with the wife. At most lifestyle clubs the guys are straight and the women are BI. Bi-male is always acceptable play at Syn. Not all places are like that though.
Most of the women that come to Syn that play with single males either are into Hotwife or multiple men. So if you are playing with a lady at Syn chances are good either the male is going to be right there watching or he\another single male will be joining you.
One thing I see a lot is the new people in general get there very early. Doors open at 8 party starts at 9. What the means is we really don’t open till 9. I understand why the guys get there so early because we stress how we limit the number of single males. Understand that things really don’t get going until about 10pm in the winter and during the summer it can be even later. If you show up at 8 and by 830 you asking me why it’s so slow all you’re doing is getting on my bad side. When I have to make a judgment call on letting more guys in or not guys on my bad side don’t get in. I can’t wave a wand and make people have sex. I can just provide a safe, clean place for them to do it.
The biggest way to get removed from an event is to be pushy and grabby. The general rule of the lifestyle is you are supposed to ask before you touch. I actually personally dislike this rule because I feel it puts the lady in an uncomfortable situation. She might say yes even if she doesn’t want to just because she’s nice. Once one guys does it more start asking. However I understand sometimes you’ll see a lady and she has her tits out and you just really want to touch them. What I personally use is “reasonable assumption” that it’s ok. If a lady seems to be flirting with me I may touch her in a non-sexual way. If she leans into it I may slowly start going farther and farther. If I’m touching her butt I usually say “this ok?” I’ve yet to misread a situation using this method. I hardly ever touch a ladies breast (anymore) unless she’s sitting on my lap or grinding up on me. Understand there is a difference between touching and groping. I would save the actual groping until you’re getting hot and heavy.
Also you need to follow those guidelines at all times. I don’t care if you just saw her take more loads then FedEx. That does not mean you can go up and just start groping on her. Be mindful that even if you just played she may not want you groping her. She may need some downtime or she may be just done with you until she’s ready to play again.
This is getting pretty long so I’ll go through the rest pretty quick. Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you like me to elaborate on anything.
Few do’s and don’ts. Do dress decent you don’t have to be dressed up but you are trying to get laid. Smell good. A ok looking guy that smells good will get way more action then a bad smelling hot guy. The ladies are there to gag on your cock not your BO. Do talk to the guy of the couple. My general rule is to shake his hand before I grab her butt. If he doesn’t like you you’re not getting anywhere.
Outside the actual events Syn is a one man show. I said man so don’t send me any type of flirty message. If you are so desperate you’re trying to hit up just whoever runs a swingers club I don’t want you there. Don’t send me your bio. I’m not trying to date you. I need your money and for you to act right that’s all I’m concerned about. On that note many guys will hang out by me blowing smoke up my ass trying to get on my good side. I understand why, but all you’re doing is annoying me. If you don’t have tits I really don’t care to talk to you. Even then it’s iffy. I get annoyed real easy that’s why I pay other people to be nice. I’m just there to make sure everything runs smooth and people act right. The staff are the customer service reps. I’m the grumpy wizard behind the curtain.
Last thing I wanted to talk about was something I struggle with. You’re not supposed to approach a couple that is already engaged in activities on a bed. I can’t stand watching guys crowd a bed or sit 4 inches from a bed just starring at a couple that’s playing. However there have been many times that I’m about to say something and the guys(s) join in. I almost never get a complaint about it either. So I’m struggling on how to handle this type of thing. You can help me out by trying to be less creepy when you’re watching a couple play.
I appreciate you reading through all this. If you have any questions feel free to ask.