Communication & Consent

written by Troy Hamilton
11 · 30 · 22

I wanted to talk about consent and how to handle it if you feel it was violated or you just feel uncomfortable in a  situation.    This is coming from my perspective of running Syn but most reputable venues should have a fairly similar protocol.  

One of the main differences in Syn to other LS events is Syn really leans into being a sex club.  Our main goal is a safe place for women to explore their fantasies.  For that to happen we have to be extra vigilant that the ladies feel safe.   We are always watching to see if there is a disturbance in the force and if anyone seems uncomfortable.  Tiffany will straight up crawl into bed with you and check on you while you are getting railed.  

The thing I am most proud of is how many single ladies we get to every event.  These ladies tell me how safe they feel when they come and it makes me so happy.  If we weren’t doing a good job those ladies wouldn’t feel comfortable coming and exploring their fantasies.  

However every Saturday there are a lot of people jammed into a space.  I’m not going to try and pretend nothing wrong ever happens.  Vast majority of the time though it’s more of a miscommunication than an actual violation.  I wanted to go over some things that could help make you visit more enjoyable.  

Never be afraid to use your voice.  If something is happening you are uncomfortable with, let the person know.  If they do not relent, say it louder.  The lifestyle is full of great people that will not let someone be uncomfortable.  However no one knows unless you say something.  

I know not everyone is comfortable with conflict.  If that is you let a staff member know.  We will never escalate a situation.  Most of the time it is a communication or a naivety issue.  We usually can resolve the matter by talking and if the person did something wrong coach them up and let them know the proper protocols.  You will never cause a scene by coming to staff and letting them know you are uncomfortable with a situation.  Even if someone is being “nice”  but just won’t leave you alone.  We’re pretty good at settling down the eager beavers, but we have to know.  

If you think someone has their cell phone out, watching, standing too close, anything that makes you uncomfortable, come talk to us.  If you just leave and then post on social media about it the next day you have done nothing to resolve the problem.  There is nothing we can do the next day with a vague description.  Telling other Synners on the way out why you were uncomfortable, but not telling us again accomplishes nothing.  

One of the things that happens at Syn that makes some uncomfortable is people watching a bit too intently or standing too close to the bed.  If that happens to you simply say “Hey guys can you give us some space please?” Say it clear and most of the room will hear and give you space.  If you’re not comfortable doing that let us know and we will be happy to shoo people away for you.  You can even let us know before you even get on the bed.  Our regulars do it all the time.  

People suggest all the time we put up walls, curtains or velvet ropes to give some space.  That’s just not practical in that space.  If you want privacy we now have a private room you can rent.   

I’m not trying to hurt feelings here, however we watch the room so intently.  If you have people near your bed we are watching for any sign of being uncomfortable.  I have a hard time when people say they were actively saying no and no one was abiding by that.  Even if it escaped us somehow other Synners would at least raise awareness.  So if you’re posting on social media a week later how all these single guys were fondling your wife and wouldn’t take no so you just left I have a hard time believing that’s how it went down.  

Again we cater towards women fulfilling their fantasies.  Many times that involves multiple men.  We don’t know what you’re comfortable with unless you communicate it to us.  

Just talk to us.

Troy Hamilton

I'm Troy, the owner of Syn.

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